Anderson, sleep-deprived and emotionally shattered, mumbled, “Fine. Whatever.”

And so began the strangest engagement in New Jersey history. They told their families they were “passionately impulsive.” They argued over napkin colors (she wanted tie-dye; he wanted white). They fake-dated for three weeks to “sell the story,” then accidentally fell in love while assembling a broken IKEA bookshelf at 2 a.m.

But Dina said no. Then she said yes to the waiter bringing her espresso, walked out, and got hit by a falling inflatable Santa Claus.

Katie squinted. “You’re serious.”